Speed Bumps in the Highway of Life

While purging our paper files, I found a printout of my son’s LiveJournal entry for July 2002. Because it’s still a few days after Mother’s Day, I decided to share this mother-son exchange. It’s rather weird that today I am quoting that blog that quotes one of my defunct Suite101 Inspiration/Motivation articles that quotes my son. Nonetheless, just a few thoughts for when we hit those minor setbacks in our lives. 

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Date: 2002-07-19 22:01

Subject: speed bumps

Security: Public

A while back, I wrote my mother some e-mail about dealing with her carpal tunnel syndrome. For the unaware, CTS is the painful degradation of the delicate muscle-bone mechanisms that we call our hands. She wrote an article about it recently, and I'd like to share it here.

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Welcome page of Suite101 Inspiration/Motivation 2002

Speed Bumps in the Highway of Life
By Ruby Bayan

Sometimes we want to believe we're immortal, or at the very least, immune to the frailties of human existence. Cancer happens to other people. Accidents happen to neighbors. Casualties fall on friends of friends. These gosh-awful things don't happen to us... until they do.

When I started calling myself a writer, I took all the precautions I knew, so that I wouldn't have to suffer what they call the "writer's syndrome" or CTS (carpal tunnel syndrome). I had an ergonomic chair, keyboard, and mouse. I was conscious of my posture, and took breaks from typing as often as I could.

It didn't occur to me that CTS would sneak up on me not from the keyboard but from packing and unpacking shelves of books and pieces of furniture from one house to another. My workouts didn't prepare my hands and arms enough for the torture I was going to subject them to when we relocated. As soon as I finished re-assembling and re-stocking our bookshelves, my hands literally died. CTS had set in.

I couldn't believe I had no strength at all to open a jar of peanut butter. A plastic bag of groceries felt heavier than a ton of bricks. Moving furniture -- out of the question. Typing sent tiny electric shocks through my fingers. Numb and painful hands woke me up in the middle of the night. I couldn't believe it. I felt miserable.

I told my folks about what had happened to me -- we had moved to a beautiful new home but in my excitement, I lost my hands. They all told me to take it easy, and to give my hands a rest. My son, ever fluent, and thinking otherwise, gave me the most powerful advice and encouragement I received:

"Hi, Mom. The source of CTS is the overexertion of the muscles through the wrist-joint mechanism. With the right amount of stretching and massaging, you can slowly counteract the damage, and realign the muscles within your wrist. It's going to take a lot of time and a lot of exercise, but I'm sure you can manage it. You always were the more diligent of the two of us.

"And what's this I hear about your not being able to move stuff around? I can understand not being able to do heavy lifting, but I do hope you're still keeping a moderately active metabolism. Fight the sedentary lifestyle -- there are people decades older than you and me who are still going strong because they just won't let it get them down.

"Be confident about your abilities. You were a mountaineer once. Don't just look back at it wistfully as an aspect of your past that you went through and moved on from. You're still that same person. You just haven't used the hardware in the same fashion in a while.

"I'm sure you can find the focus. Look back at all you've accomplished, and remember that you managed far more than the average individual because you felt like you could, and you went ahead and did it. Yes, acknowledge your limitations, but that doesn't mean you should just take it easy and take things for granted. It's all in the mindset, right?

"If you believe you can, then you won't take minor setbacks like momentary fatigue and muscular distress as if they were permanent roadblocks stopping you from walking down your old roads. Just think of them as speed bumps. You need to compensate for them, but darned if you're going to let them stop you, right?"

Ah, yes. My son gave me the gift of a bright and optimistic perspective: speed bumps in the highway of life. That's what this is. Just like all the other obstacles I have faced, I shall cope, I shall compensate. Then gain momentum once more, and cruise, and continue to enjoy the journey.

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An uplifting postscript to Mom's article: her CTS is gone. Her hands have returned to full functionality, and she's doing great. If you'd like to get to know the true renaissance woman I call mother, mentor, friend and role model, visit her website here.

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Caimito and Chico

The two fruits I terribly miss out here in the US: the sweet and soft purplish caimito (Star Apple) and the sweet and grainy brown chico (Sapodilla).

My brother and I grew up climbing the caimito trees fronting our house. We had our own favorite branches where we’d while away the lazy afternoons of youth… almost like waiting for the fruits to ripen right next to our faces. Just sit on a branch, reach for a shiny tender one or two, and gorge away.

Friends and neighbors passing by would see us lounging on the branches; we’d pitch them as many ripe caimitos as they could carry. Most of the time, Papa would be at the foot of the tree, catching fruits my brother and I tossed down -- our very own version of "playing catch."

I remember though, that I never ate the Star Apples piled high on our dining table fruit basket. Not even the ones cooling in our refrigerator. I only ate caimito that I had just picked from our trees with my own hands -- fresh, organic, pesticide-free. Good old days.

Our chico tree was a different story. The tree itself was too dense to lounge in, plus it hosted the life cycles of all kinds of bugs -- spiders, mostly. You’d have to work your way through webs, ants, and aphids to get to the good branches, and then you’d have to literally go out on a limb to reach the fruits. The chico tree taught us how to pick fruits from the ground, using a really long stick rigged with a wire loop (to snag the fruit) and a bag (to catch the snagged fruit) at the end.

Ah, memories of long ago and far away. Our parents were the best; they made sure my brother and I had a wonderful childhood growing up alongside an assortment of fruit trees.

Oh yes, we also had guava, mango, tamarind, santol, avocado, guyabano, and kamias, all lush and fruit-bearing in our yard. I have poignant stories about each of these trees. I’ll write them one of these days.

Best Pictures

Just finished watching "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" - the Oscar Best Picture for 1975.

I didn't know that aside from this movie, only two other films won the Top 5 Oscars for Best Picture, Director, Actor, Actress, and Screenplay. The other two are "It Happened One Night" (1934) and "The Silence of the Lambs" (1991).

So, in my usual OCD thing, I looked up a list of all the best picture Oscar winners from time immemorial. Below is the list with an asterisk after the ones I've seen at least once. Of course, I now remember very little from the movies I've seen, but that's why I'm writing this now -- I want to see these gems again.

Those 60s and 70s ones would be fun to relive. This time I'll have a new perspective from the first time. Like in the Cuckoo's Nest... many of the actors were just being discovered then... like Danny DeVito and Christopher Lloyd (his first movie). Brad Dourif, our favorite Grima Wormtongue in LOTR was here billed as "and introducing..."

This should be a fun project. I'll tack this list on my wall and see how many films I can tick off for however long this journey takes. Netflix is flashing its "ca-ching" grin right now.

2005 - Crash *
2004 - Million Dollar Baby *
2003 - Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King *
2002 - Chicago *
2001 - A Beautiful Mind
2000 - Gladiator *
1999 - American Beauty *
1998 - Shakespeare In Love *
1997 - Titanic *
1996 - The English Patient *
1995 - Braveheart *
1994 - Forrest Gump *
1993 - Schindler'S List *
1992 - Unforgiven *
1991 - The Silence Of The Lambs *
1990 - Dances With Wolves *
1989 - Driving Miss Daisy *
1988 - Rain Man *
1987 - The Last Emperor *
1986 - Platoon *
1985 - Out Of Africa
1984 - Amadeus
1983 - Terms Of Endearment
1982 - Gandhi *
1981 - Chariots Of Fire *
1980 - Ordinary People
1979 - Kramer Vs. Kramer *
1978 - The Deer Hunter *
1977 - Annie Hall *
1976 - Rocky *
1975 - One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest *
1974 - The Godfather Part II *
1973 - The Sting *
1972 - The Godfather *
1971 - The French Connection *
1970 - Patton *
1969 - Midnight Cowboy *
1968 - Oliver! *
1967 - In The Heat Of The Night
1966 - A Man For All Seasons *
1965 - The Sound Of Music *
1964 - My Fair Lady *
1963 - Tom Jones
1962 - Lawrence Of Arabia *
1961 - West Side Story *
1960 - The Apartment
1959 - Ben Hur *
1958 - Gigi
1957 - The Bridge On The River Kwai *
1956 - Around The World In 80 Days *
1955 - Marty
1954 - On The Waterfront
1953 - From Here To Eternity *
1952 - The Greatest Show On Earth *
1951 - An American In Paris
1950 - All About Eve
1949 - All The King's Men
1948 - Hamlet *
1947 - Gentleman's Agreement
1946 - Best Years Of Our Lives
1945 - The Lost Weekend
1944 - Going My Way
1943 - Casablanca *
1942 - Mrs. Miniver
1941 - How Green Was My Valley
1940 - Rebecca
1939 - Gone With The Wind *
1938 - You Can't Take It With You
1937 - The Life Of Emile Zola
1936 - The Great Ziegfeld
1935 - Mutiny On The Bounty *
1934 - It Happened One Night
1933 - Cavalcade
1932 - Grand Hotel
1931 - Cimarron
1930 - All Quiet On The Western Front
1929 - The Broadway Melody
1928 - Wings

Oh, and ye, I liked Cuckoo's Nest much more this time around. Excellent movie, certainly deserving of the Top 5 Oscars.

VHS to DVD

The date on the label says "Jan 26-28 1996." It's a VHS tape of our trek up Mt. Pulag, back when I was an avid backpacker/trekker.

Ten years. That long. Once-in-a-lifetime memories held together in a strip of decade-old magnetic tape. How long do these things last? The tape, I mean. A friend gave me this time capsule a few months after we got back from the trek, and I've seen it only twice -- the day I received it and about four years ago. I'm surprised it's still working. I'm surprised I still have a working VHS player.

Memories are supposed to last forever. But they don't do they? I can't even remember with whom I climbed that time. I can't remember what I wore, what we ate. All I remember is I have sounds and images of a very important climb in this strip of decade-old magnetic tape. How long so these things last anyway?

So, I did myself a favor. I watched the tape again and tried to remember everything (I still can't remember the names of some of the guys I trusted with my life up that mountain!). It's stunning to realize that since that climb, two of my fellow-climbers had died. Some have migrated to other parts of the world. A few have gotten married... to each other.

I knew that if I wanted to keep these memories with me, I would have to watch the tape every so often. Some of these friends will be hard to find now, and a number will most likely continue to exist for me only in this roll. Maybe in one of my viewing sessions everyone's names will come back to me.

So, before I lose everything as this VHS tape deteriorates, this VHS player fades into oblivion, and this aging mind slips into retirement, I copied the tape onto a DVD to preserve the stories, the smiles and laughter, and the unforgettable faces of friends who trekked with me through some of the most exciting days of my life.

How long do these DVDs last anyway?

Here's what I gathered from the old reliable Internet:

Pressed DVD (movies) - 50-300 years
DVD-R - 20-250 years
DVD-RW - 25-100 years
Magnetic tape - 10-100 years
Archival Microfilm - 300+ years

Fine print: Computer storage media and equipment become obsolete in 20-30 years.

Finer print: all of these lifespan estimates are based on highest quality materials and manufacturer standards. Poor materials, equipment, and storage conditions reduce lifespans considerably. Some experts recommend archive backup on at least three different media, and constant upgrades as new technologies emerge.

Finest print: nothing lasts forever.